Silent Hawke

I still haven't heard from Hawke...
Every time my life gets overwhelming (at least once a week!) All I want to do is feel his arms around me... hear his voice... that total comfort, and safety I always felt with him... I dream of him often, and wake up feeling such a loss, like a hole in my chest...
I feel like I'm camping in the middle of the freeway these days... my life has no point of refuge, no safe-zone... no anchor...
Will I ever get over this? He is the one that gave me the tools to uncover my own submission...There is no closure without words... or is it even closed? Will he (as in the past) instant message me one of these days saying "Hello babygirl", asking me to come to the farm, and we pick up as if there was no time missing... as we always have before...
I know I have to tell him no... I know I can't let him keep doing this, but that will be harder than not hearing from him at all...